READ FOR SELF

Few minutes after their conversation, Sellina walked into the shop and started with series of questions which really made me feel very uncomfortable. Dede on the other hand was still outside chatting with my boss while Sellina was trying to play with her new toy.
Of course, she had to force those answers out of my mouth. I was very nervous I didn't know why but I could tell Sellina was really a cool girl. Aside the fact that her appearance doesn't impress me much, I really think she is a cool girl.
Questions upon questions as if I was in an exam hall. She sat by my side on a bench where I was trying to get few stuffs fixed and she was somehow trying to get me talking to her.
She was so persistent that I had to give up trying to send her away by not talking. She got into my head and before I realized, I was answering every question she was asking.

She asked so many personal stuffs including where I stay, how old I am, why I'm working for my boss, where I schooled, where my parents are and even how I got to know my boss.

She also wanted me to ask her questions as well and that will be over my dead body. Definitely not me. I was just quiet so I realized she started telling me about herself without me asking any personal questions. At least if I don't know anything at all, I could tell if someone wants to become a friend.
The conversation wasn't ending any soon and my only prayer was, she should get hungry and leave.
Few minutes into the conversation, Dede rushed in, pulled her away and said to her; "Come lets go home. If I don't get you out of here, you will spoil the innocent boy."
Dede also said to me; "Bro, Please don't allow this girl to get into your head. She will spoil you."
I raised my head and smiled at them in a blink of an eye and fixed my head back into the down looking position.
Actually, it felt like I was carrying sacks of sand on my head so it took a really big effort to raise that head up and give a smile.
Within few minutes, Dede and Sellina were out of the shop and I am back into my good old self. Did I say "my good old self?", I lied. The truth is, I felt really happy and I could feel butterflies in my tummy.
I was so happy I had the opportunity to chat with a lady for the first time in my miserable life. Not only that but Dede said something to me for the first time.

I felt so happy and for that whole day, they never showed up at the shop again after leaving.

Thank all those who followed this story from the beginning till the ending. I thank you all for reading.

Love is one thing that we all give or subject ourselves to at one point in time. Sometimes it hurts and ends so quickly but other times, it is fun and last very long. It all depends on how you two relate.

Some of us do have bad lucks and for that matter, every relationship we go inside vanishes out of sight very quickly. This doesn't mean that every relationship will end as it ended in this story.
It takes two to make a relationship work and it takes only one to destroy a relationship. If you two believe in each other, there is no way your relationship is going to end like Dede and Joe.

This story was written just for your reading pleasure and not to give you any idea of a step back in your relationship. Everybody has their own fate and so has God planted the right person on this earth for you.

Maybe you are already with the right person. Maybe you are yet to meet the right person it's all in the hands of God.
Just hold onto your relationship until it totally fades out before you let go. Don't let go because you think your relationship is fading out.
We all have our believes but when it comes to love, I think we all wish to have a relationship that can last.

Thank you once again for following this story till the end.
Watch out for more.

My boss told me that Dede was pregnant. He asked me to keep it a secrete because both Dede and her family didn't want anyone to know about the pregnancy.

It was the biggest blow of all. I thought Dede would've done something better after I have given her a second chance but rather, she was meant to hurt me and that was exactly what she was doing.

I kept very quiet and was pretending I didn't know about the pregnancy.
Within few days, Dede started calling and chatting me more often. Even more than we use to. Most of the time when she call, all she talk about is s3x, s3x, s3x.
I dated Dede for many years without giving her a kiss, not to talk of s3kx... Even as I speak, she doesn't know the route to my house.

I didn't know what Dede wanted to do but I was still in hiding. I only chat with her over the phone, no visiting and no physical contacts. We chat as lovers. anytime she bring the issue of paying me a visit, I always find a better excuse for her.
I was just waiting for the rumors to start spreading. I pretended for 2 months until Sellina called and asked if I have impregnated Dede which my answer was a big NO.

The rumors were spreading bigger and bigger everyday until Dede herself called me to tell me the mistake she did. The most painful part of all was where she told me my friend is the father of the unborn child.

I was totally shocked at the beast Dede turned into. I didn't know what to tell her.

On 23rd September, 2013, Exactly 4 years since I started dating Dede, I went to Dede's house. I didn't go to visit Dede. I went to find answers to questions that were running inside my head.
I went there and met only Deborah in the house. I didn't even know her mother was sitting right behind us so I opened up my mind, my heart, soul my everything and told Deborah from the beginning of the story till the end and asked one simple question which till now, I haven't find any answer to. "Why did Dede Choose To Hurt Me?"

That wasn't the end of the story but I will end it here. Until I die, the story still continues
I will end the story here.

That was so fast huh?
She was also shocked how I accepted her back  so fast without any long thing.  She called back again to be sure whether I was serious when I said I have accepted her back and I told her I was very serious.

Yes off-cos! I was very serious that I accepted her back. I didn't accept her back because I have forgiven her but   I accepted her back because I wanted her to feel how it feels like to be broken.

I don't forgive. I like taking revenge on those who hurt me and that was exactly what I intend doing when I accepted her back. Her love was still inside my heart but the pains she caused me comes first before that love.
After accepting her, I don't call her but she always do call me and we chat like we use to. Whenever she calls me, I make her remember the good memories we shared together and how she erased them with pain. She always felt sorry for breaking up with me.

I didn't want anything to cross my mind by then. Even though I didn't love her like I use to, I still care about her and because of her, I wasn't dating anyone else because I was still believing I was in a relationship with Dede.


About two months and a week after we reunited, My boss called me one evening and asked; "Have you broken up with your wife?"

Me (so confused); " No! We are still dating."

My boss; "But why didn't you come to visit her ever since she came?"

Me (more confused); "We having been chatting on phone everyday but she never told me for once that she was in Town."

My boss; "She has been in Town for like three days now, looking very beautiful but has changed her character. I think this girl is not the Dede we use to know way back. Just be very careful. She can give you problem."

Me; "Thank you boss:"

I was so angry but I kept quiet and didn't call Dede that day. The following day, I called Dede and asked why she has been in Town but didn't  tell me. She couldn't give me any reasonable reason so I also refused to pay her visit.
 We always chat on phone just like we use to do way back but no visits.

About a month after Dede came back, my boss called me again and guess what he said.

I sent that message with tears running down my cheek. Dede really crushed my heart. I thought I was in love but not knowing I was just finding myself pain. I still do love her even as I write my story, I still do love her.

My brokenheart was just like a disease that falls on you that no matter what you do, you are going to live with it. I was just managing to live with my broken heart.


Weeks passed and months passed. It was the fifth month since Dede broke my heart.
I was just there one evening and listening to music as usual when Dede called.  I answered the call without wasting time but I didn't say anything after answering. She also refused to talk so we were both on the phone listening to each others' background.

Non of us uttered a word for like 10 minutes. I realized she was tired of being on the phone without saying or hearing anything but didn't mind her.

She said; "Won't you talk?"

I replied; "You called me so if you don't have anything to say, please hang up."

She said; " I know I have wronged you big time but please  don't be silent on me. I have wronged you and I am calling to apologize. Please I want to be with you again."

I asked; "Have you finished talking? "

She answered; "Yes please."

The next minute, I hanged up the call and switched my phone to plane mode.
It wasn't because I don't love her. I do love Dede but her mode of quitting was too harsh for me. I could have died if I should be a HBP patient.

I woke up the next morning and switched my phone back to network mode. Within 5 minutes, my phone started ringing and it was Dede. I answered the phone and said one simple thing; "I accept you back."




The story continues.

In fact I cried that whole night till morning. I was so hurt by her actions and words.
It was all like the girl was trying to push me to hell.

The next morning Dede never called.
A week passed and Dede never called. Anytime I pick up my phone to call her, all that comes out is tears rolling down my cheek. It was such a girlish act for a young man like me to be crying but I had no control over my tears. They just kept coming anytime Dede's thoughts fall into my head.

I had no choice but to delete Dede's number from my phone. I even changed my whole phone because the phone also reminds me of Dede in so many ways.


It was about a month and two weeks since I last heard from Dede.
I received a call from a strange number. Even though I deleted Dede's number, I could still recognize her number when I see it.
I was just there looking while the phone was ringing. I was just thinking if she was going to add more pain to the wounds she has already created in my heart or she was going to mend them.

The phone rang for 3 times and I didn't answer the calls. The forth time, I answered the call and this is what she said;

"Joe!, I just wanted to ask you to stop thinking about me. Please do me a simple favor by not calling this number again. Even if you call, I am not going to answer. Go and find someone else to date."


It was too much to take in. She couldn't even hold on to tell me why she did that.
Within 30 minutes, I have called her like 100 times but she didn't answer any of my calls instead she turned off her phone.

I felt what it was really like to get a brokenheart. It felt like the last chords joining my heart were tearing apart. I cried all night long.
The following day, I didn't go to work, I didn't eat, I didn't bath and I didn't answer any call. It continued for 1 day more before I came out, took my bath and ate.

My phone was off.  So I charged my phone and went through all the important calls. I had nothing to tell them than to say "I am sick."

After going through the important calls, I called Dede one more time but she didn't answer.
I went into my SMS and composed a new message that reads;

"I love you no matter where you go, no matter how you treat me and no matter who you have become. You have your own reason for what you are doing but I will plead with you to watch your back while you go forward. No matter how many times I cry, I will still be there when you need me.
I love you and I will forever love you. Its never goodbye."




The story didn't end there.

The caller was Dede and I was so happy deep inside my heart hearing from her.
This was the conversation we had:

Me: "Dede, what happened? Why were you not calling me again?"

Dede: "Sorry. I lost the phone you gave me with your contact. I didn't have your contact on my new phone that was why I couldn't call you till now."

I got angrier upon hearing what she said.

Me: "So how did you get my number now?"

Dede: "Please! we will talk about that later. Kindly send me 2Ghc airtime to call my mom and we will chat after talking to her."

She hanged up after saying that.

Mr Loverboy, I was a bit a man of my own by then because I was working for Milicom Ghana Ltd, One of the biggest Telecom companies in Ghana.
I only started working there less than two months but I had some money to spend. So I went straight into my room for some money and sent her 10Ghc airtime just to make sure she will have enough left to call me back.

I waited for her call all night long but she never called to even tell me that she received the airtime.
It was all like the lovely girl I use to have has turned into some kind of beast I don't know anymore.
I couldn't sleep all night because I couldn't stop thinking about how Dede has changed so easily.

It was morning and I went to work. I decided not to call Dede because I was expecting her to call me since she promised to call back after talking to her mother.
Even at work, I couldn't think straight until I closed and came back home. I was so broken to the extent that I felt I was losing everything I had in this world.

I decided to call Dede that evening. I called her for like 10 times at different points in time and the feedback was all "Number Busy".

At around 9:30PM, my final call was able to reach her. She picked up the call and told me she was very tired and can't talk so she will call in the morning.

My uncle actually wanted to toast my girl.
He called out and asked: "Joe! Is that your meat?"

I looked at him and smiled.
He continued: "You are really my family member. You have eyes for good things. I am very proud of you."

We all laughed and I introduced Dede to my uncle and introduced my uncle to Dede. I left with Dede after the short introduction. We went out strolling and later in the evening, I brought Dede to the house. Her mother saw us but didn't mind us.
 Dede gave me three photographs of herself to help make me happy whenever I miss her and I was so happy.

I was so happy even though somebody died. Dede as well didn't seem like someone who was mourning her father.

The following morning, Dede called me and told me she has left. I felt like crying but she told me she didn't want to see me sad that was why she didn't tell me. I was just okay with what she said.

We continued our phone love chats again until about two months after her father's funeral when she started behaving strangely. We don't chat for long like we use to do and she barely call me. Sometimes if I call her, she doesn't answer my calls.

I was so frustrated by her strange behavior but I kept it cool until when she stopped calling me for like two weeks and whenever I call her, her phone was off.

I felt so broken and so angry. I didn't know what to do. Even though I was angry at Dede, I still thought maybe there was a good reason why her number wasn't going through. Probably her phone has spoil or missing.

I was just praying and hoping that it shouldn't be long before she call because I might have to go to her mother to ask for directions. I was dying to hear from Dede. I couldn't sleep properly for a whole month because I didn't hear from Dede.

About a month and week without hearing from Dede. The only thing I do is sit outside in the evening, listen to emotional soundtracks and try recollecting the long conversations we use to have.
Sometimes I get so sad with my memories and sometimes I smile to myself when those happy memories we shared together pops up.

One day, I was just outside in the evening when  a strange number called. I received the call but the person hanged up so I called back immediately.
Guess who?





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It was Sellina my good old friend.

She hugged me and asked if I have seen Dede already. I said "No". She told me maybe I have seen her already but didn't recognize her.
I was like; "Even if she under go plastic surgery, I will still recognize her."

Sellina ran away telling me that she was going to bring me my wife.  Within few minutes somebody jumped on my back from behind. I just knew it was Dede because her body scent never changed.
Everybody's attention was drawn to the scene because she shouted upon seeing me.
I was so shy but she never was. I managed to bring her down from my back and hugged her properly. We cuddled for like 20 minutes without moving an inch.

What they were telling me, were all true. Dede really changed. It seemed her beauty  increased by 50%. Every part of her body looked so attractive and beautiful than she use to be. I was so happy to have such a girl as girlfriend and wife to be.

I was so happy that day and she was all around me throughout the night until 12PM when she said she was going to sleep for a while.

Early in the morning, she woke up and came to were I was sitting with my boss and greeted. Few hours later, she came back to serve us tea but someone like me who doesn't eat from every place didn't take the tea.
She wasn't angry at all because she already know I will not take any food in her presence.

 In the afternoon, the funeral rites were over and her father was buried.
I left home just to eat something, wash down and go back to be by my sweetheart's side while she mourns her father.

By the time I return to Dede's house, it was almost 4:30PM in the evening and they were doing the necessary cleaning to keep the house clean after the funeral.

As I walk towards the house, I saw a man standing with Dede in front of their house and from the look of things, the man was probably toasting my girl. I knew Dede will never do anything to betray me so I was never jealous at all.

 I just slowed down my walking for her to finish ignoring the man before I get there but unfortunate for the man, Dede saw her sweetheart(me) coming. She quickly rushed to me and hugged me very tight as if she has not seen me in ages.
The man was still standing there so she wrapped her hands around my arm and we all walked together to the man. When we got there, she asked the man to say what he was saying again.

I was so shy but I managed to lift up my head a little bit to look at the face of the man.
OMG!!!!!







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Days passed, weeks passed, months passed and it was a year and five months since Dede left.  I have completed learning repairs and no longer go to my master's shop unless he needs my help.

We have always talked on phone day in day out ever since she left but one thing that doesn't happen is; she doesn't allow me to pay a visit. But that didn't bother me much because she chat me almost every day.

Few months, my boss called me and said Dede's father has kicked the bucket. It was a big blow to my face. I called her that evening but couldn't tell her anything because I thought it could be a betrayal to my boss.
She knew my mood has changed and through that, she disclosed to me that she already knew about the incident but didn't want it to affect our chat.


Few weeks later, the funeral arrangements and everything was due so Dede came back home for her father's final rites before burial.
Immediately she arrived, she called me to come to her house. I was a bit nervous but I wasn't scared of anyone because I have missed my sweetheart. It's been almost a year and half that I have not seen her face.

I went to her house and met an ongoing wake keeping.
I searched for Dede everywhere but couldn't find her and her phone too was off. I saw my boss standing on the corridor of Dede's building and I ran to him.

He smiled and said to me: "Have you seen your wife?"
I replied: "No! Boss"

He said: "Your wife is now a woman. She came looking for you so wait. She will come right now."

I smiled and wanted to see Dede as soon as possible. It was around 7PM and the light in the house couldn't shine at some parts of the house but I was forcing my vision through the darkness just to see my sweetheart first before she finds me.

As I was trying to see through the darkness, Somebody blindfolded me with her two hands. I knew is a she because the palms were so soft and smells good but didn't smell like Dede.
I thought maybe Dede's scent has changed over the years so I went ahead and mentioned "Dede!!!" but the person didn't loosen the hands which signaled that I didn't guess right.

I smiled and said; "Please I can't guess. Who is it?"

The person slowly loosen her hands and I turned my back to look.

Guess Who!







The story continues.
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That day when I got home, it felt like I have said goodbye to my lover. It was a whole lot to take in.
My mom could see the broken feelings in my eyes. I didn't eat for the evening and I jumped into bed as early as 8:00PM. I was just in bed like that without any feel of sleep in my eyes.

Around 10:00PM, a call came in and the caller ID is "My Sweetheart". I answered the call with a joyful heart.
We had a very long conversation which I can't tell you right now but there is some part of the conversation that I couldn't forget till date. They are fresh in my head.
That  part of the conversation went like this;

Me: "Dede, I am really sad this evening ooo."

Dede: "My sweetheart, Please don't be sad. I know you love me and I love you too. No matter where I go, you will always be in my heart and because of that, I will always come back to you. 
Please promise me you will not let any woman take your heart away from me."

Me: "I promise I will wait for you no matter how long."

Dede: "Thank You"

It was a promise worth keeping for both of us or so I thought. I was so happy and pleased with the promises we made to each other. I could feel love breeze filling the air in my room after our final goodbye on the phone.

The next morning, I went to the shop and my boss came to me. He asked: "Did Dede tell you she was traveling?"

Me: "Yes Boss!"
Boss: "I guess you guys didn't break up after all."

Me: " I smiled and looked at my boss' face."

Boss: "[He smiled] ; That is the beginning of a good relationship. Hope you will go and visit her  sometimes because I heard she will stay there for long."


Me: "Yes! Boss, If she get there, she will give me the direction and I will go visiting most of the time."

Boss: "That's good but still be careful and strong."

Few hours after chatting with my boss, I had a call from caller ID "My Sweetheart". It was good news. Dede has successfully arrived at her new home. I was so happy as if I was going to stay there with her.




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Hey! Come on! What were you thinking?
Did you think I will walk Dede to her house?
Do you want her mother to kill me?

I made sure not even the people around that area saw me in the hood on that faithful day. I told Dede that I want to see her again before she leaves finally.
We scheduled another meeting for the following Dede which is Monday.

I am a broke apprentice computer repairer. I didn't have anything to offer Dede as in support to her journey but I have to do something to make our relationship remain still untouched.

I went home, took my susu box and broke it. I calculated all my coins and it was all up to 69.00Ghc.
I went to one of my friends and bought one of his slightly used Nokia phones for 45.00GGhc and was left with a balance of 24.00Ghc

I went into accessories shop and bought a phone charger at 5.00Ghc. I was left with only 19.00Ghc. I didn't know what else to do with the rest of the money because I didn't think it was enough to please Dede but I had to do something. Moreover that's all I have and I can't add anymore to it.

I got an envelope and arranged 15.00Ghc nicely in it and sealed it. I did all that before 10PM. After charging the phone, I realized I didn't buy a sim card.  It was late and all the sim card vendors have closed.


Now I have prepared something for my traveling sweetheart. The next question is how am I going to deliver my parcel? I thought about that throughout the whole of the night.

I woke up very early in the morning and went to work. I bought a new sim on my way to work and slotted it into the phone before getting to the shop. I checked the number and saved it on my phone but I never saved my number on her phone.
I closed for work and we met again at the lorry station for the last time and I delivered my parcel successfully but after delivery, I didn't allow her to escort me because I was still a bit scared about the warning my boss gave me even though he knew we didn't quit, I still have to stop her from escorting me.




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I just couldn't think properly because I didn't know anything that could break my heart apart from she breaking up with me.

I ask: "Did you cheat on me with another guy?"

Dede: "No, I will never do such a thing."

I smiled and said: "Or do you want to breakup?"

Dede: "Stop guessing.... Your guessing skills are too bad."

Me: "Ok, Its only these two things that can break my heart so there is nothing to worry about."

Dede: "Okay, I am traveling."

I smiled and all I was thinking was "OMG!!! this girl is crazy, so you just scared me with that?"
I didn't even bother asking when she was coming back. I laughed and hugged her tight and said; "Don't worry... You will surely come back to Joe. So don't worry at all."

She pushed me away a little, looked me in the eye and I could sense that something is still not right with what she said.
I was just about to ask why her sudden change of mood when she asked a simple question; "Do you think I am ever coming back?"

I could feel her question cutting through my heart like a razor blade. All the smiles on my face vanished from my face. I was sweating and non of us uttered a word for about two minutes.

I managed to open my mouth slowly and asked; "Why did you ask me that question? Are you not coming back again?"

She hugged me very tight and said; "My mum is sending me away to go and stay with my auntie. I don't think I will ever come back because I will stay there and school."

That was the first time I felt what it feels like to get a broken heart. It felt like my heart was breaking into pieces. I was so sad and almost cried but I still held on one thing. 'True Love Never Dies'.

No matter the distance, 'True Love Will Never Dies'
No matter the situation, 'Still True Love Will Never Dies'

She could feel the broken pieces of me in her arms as she wrapped her arms around me tight and placed her head on my chest listening to my heartbeats.

I don't know what she did but all of a sudden, I was happy again and we were smiling lost in another conversation so deep. It felt like she erased the thoughts of brokenheart from my head at that moment.

I checked the time and it was 7:30PM. I told her it was getting late so we should get going. Even though where we met wasn't that far from her house, it took us about an hour on the way to her house.






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Dem say Boko Haram don poison beans after I buy half bag for house. From the one wey I cook, I give my
dog, Bingo, make im first test am. 45mins later, bingo still dey waka, dey jolly. Na im I come chop my own. After I don chop finish, my gateman run come tel me say bingo don die, hey! I run enter house, begin drink full gallon of palm oil for my belle, chop 22 bitter kola wit 3 long bitter leaf stem, chop walnuts with the shell no time to crack, swallow moringa with aloe vera as treatment combo. Garlic and onions be like sweet for my mouth. I come dey sweat as if na oven be my bedroom. I dey think say my life don finish. I come outside. Na im gate
man com they tell me say the driver wey kill bingo wan come beg me! 😂😂😂😂😂

If na u, wetin u go
 do the gate man? ????😡😡😡😡

It has been almost three months after my boss warned me about Dede's mother. I have never seen Dede since then. It all felt like she has left town.

I love Dede and whether she is in town or she is not, her love is still inside my heart. I was just hoping that she shouldn't give up just because her parents don't like me.

One Sunday afternoon, I was just at home when I had a call from Sellina. I thought  it was Sellina but when I answered the call, I heard Dede's voice so I called her name straight away.
She was like; "How did you know it was me?"

Then for the first time I flirt with a woman, I answered; "Because I miss you."

She then said; "I miss you too. Please I want to see you right-now."
I asked; "Please where?"

She gave me a perfect direction. I hanged up the call and rushed out without even telling my mom where I was going. As I was on my way, I was just imagining how I will lift her up, spin around with her and kiss her because I miss her so much.


Within fifteen minutes, I was at the location she directed me to. When I went there she was already there, looking more beautiful than ever. She was looking so pretty and fresh.
I thought all my thoughts on my way could emerge into reality but nothing at all for dullboy like me. All my hands were just in my pockets as if they were clipped to my pockets.

She was very happy upon seeing me and she had this beautiful smile on her face. She couldn't hold it any longer so she hugged me very tight with a lot of smile and said she missed me. I was so happy.

I felt so special and I could tell she also felt same. We had a very long chat and I was so happy until somewhere deep inside the conversation where she broke my heart.
This is how that part of the conversation went.

Dede: "I have not even told  you the reason why I wanted to see you"

Me: "I thought you wanted to see me because you missed me."

Dede: "Yeah! I miss you a lot but there is some other reason. I know it will break your heart and for that matter, I don't know how to put it."



The story continues

I arrived at work and thought everything was normal. I opened the shop,cleaned every place and started my daily work.
I was happily working with some cool soundtracks in the background to boost the morning work.
My boss arrived and as I raised my head to look at his face, I could see the anger. I could see the clouds ahead of a thunderstorm.

What I didn't know was whether that thunderstorm was going to fall on me or someone else. I was so quiet because I have never seen my boss wear such a face before.

He went inside quietly and came back.
Then he went through the story like these;  
"Joe!, I have asked you to stay away from that girl. I told you her mother is a very mean and complicated woman but it seems you didn't take any seed from my advice.
Yesterday, you were very lucky the woman didn't come to meet you here. Like she would have caused more trouble than she did. 
She said you have been taking her daughter home and when you finish sleeping with her, you allow her to walk all alone from your house back home, late in the night. 
 Please, You are almost my junior brother. Don't let that girl put you into trouble. Don't ever let her follow you to your house again."

After saying all that, I didn't say anything to defend myself. I was so quiet because if I try to open my mouth, I will lose the man in me.
I just sat there and accepted everything he said. After all, I have no prove that I didn't sleep with her.
Even as I am talking, Dede doesn't know the route to my house.

I was so angry and confused. I didn't know what to do. Whether to tell Dede that we should quit or I  should just take it easy and things will get better.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I couldn't eat the whole day. After closing from the shop, I thought Dede will come again and meet me but she didn't show up.
I have loved her so much and I can't just quit because her parents don't like me. I have never been in such a situation before but I know it does happen in movies so I was still keeping her in my heart.




The story continues
 

I didn't really know what she wanted but what I did was just pull her into my arms and hugged her really tight as if that was the last time I was ever going to see her.
Immediately I released my arms, she moved back with a very huge smile on her face and waved at me saying; "Good Night!."
I was so happy. In my entire life, that was the happiest moment in my whole life. I never thought about anything apart from her and I couldn't stop smiling all night long.
I was just wishing that such a moment should come again, again and again. It was really fun.

The next day, I went to work really early than always. I just wanted to see her. She also wanted to see me so very early in the morning, she came to the shop and asked about my health. I could see the love in her eyes.
Her smiles lightened up my whole morning. I couldn't stop smiling until I closed for that day.

Days passed and weeks passed. She walking me home every evening became our new found hobby. I was so madly in love with her. She was also so madly in love with me, or so I thought.

Seven months passed and we were still playing love birds. The only time we meet is when I close and I am going home.
Dede never knew my house, my parents or anybody related to me but I knew almost all her family members even though none of them knew me apart from Deborah.
Our relationship was very secrete. Only my Boss, Sellina and Deborah knew about our relationship.

A year passed and we were still playing love birds. We have never kissed before, never had sekx before but we do hug sometimes.

One day, I closed from work but wasn't feeling the day so I didn't want Dede to go and escort me. With luck on my side, I didn't see her at our meeting point that very evening. I waited for few minutes but she didn't show up so I left home.

The following day when I came to work, I had the worst experience of my life time.




The story continues

Just two years after our marriage, my husband brought up the idea of asking his Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. His father passed away while he was still very young.

His mum endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to the university. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect or imagine of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

 I immediately agreed and started preparing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly, he lifted me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother".

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest my head on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment, put me as smallish as I am into his pocket. Whenever we have an argument and one of us refuses to back out, he would lift me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender as I beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

 Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, what do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I will smile and say,: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother will grumble away, and my husband will smile and tell her: "Mum, this is how it is in the city and with time you will get use to it".

Mother will stop murmuring. But thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I will tell her the price and she would shake her head and express displeasure.
Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would demand to know the price for each and every item, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it..

Hubby playfully pinched my nose one day and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything and that would would solve the problem." This sparked the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle and home.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In her view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother's facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to have noticed that. She would use her chopsticks or cutlery to make a lot of noise as her silent protest.

As a dance teacher in the Children's Palace where i work, I come home exhausted from a long day of dancing around, and I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.
From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags with the aim of selling them later on, and at the end, the house is filled with all forms of trash bags; she would spill on the dishes, dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so, as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position as to whose side he should be on, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night.
I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" He stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak with me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During the period of the cold war, hubby was caught in a dilemma as to who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without informing or discussing with any of us. At the breakfast table, mother would look at her son happily as he eats his breakfast and she'll cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife.

To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feelings of unfairness overwhelmed me.. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can we have breakfast together at home?"
I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table. The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by his mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out.

Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes... I opened my mouth but no words came out, I really did not mean it. We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.

For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best to put up with her, what else do you want me to do?
For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply lost appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was then at a low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I was pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness flooded my soul through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't husband, or his mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked raggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and I called out to him.
He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy as he's fond of. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down.

Why? Why couldn't our love even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes I saw at the hospital. I cried out and soaked the pillow with my tears. That night, the sound of drawers opening in our room woke me up.

I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing all the money he had kept in there. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.

What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears started streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work.. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with him. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock.

I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found them, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, he did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare he gives. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.

That day, after mother left the house, she walked away dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came knocking her... I finally understood how much hubby must hate me. If I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...., in his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Back in the house he moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. Me, I was buried under the guilt and self-pity as a result of his mum's death and could hardly breathe.

I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all. Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, he came home late and late.
The deadlock between us continued, we were living together like strangers who didn't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking through the glass, I saw him and a girl sitting facing each other and he litely brushed her hair for her, I understood what that action meant immediately.

After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my him and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there was no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at him, stood up to walk away , but my husband restrained her from doing so.

He stared back at me, challenging me.. I can only hear my heart beating slowly, beat after beat as if I'm about taking my last breath. I eventually backed out, if I had stood there any longer, I would have collapsed together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to sending a message to me: Following his mother's death, so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that.
Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the wardrobe had been touched - he had returned to take some of his belonging.

I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination.
My office colleagues advised me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having the baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying his mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw him sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, was lying this piece of paper. I immediately knew what it is all about without even looking at it to read it's content.
In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, wit with mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I kept repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears out. After I hung up my coat, his eyes fixed at my bulging tummy with a stare. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?"
He spurt out. Since mother's accident, this is the first time he speaking to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its OK, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. He slowly moved over me, his tears wet his dress. In my heart, everything seems so far away, even if I sprint, I could never reach them.

I cannot remember how many times he repeatedly said "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, never ever. We have caused such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally and absolutely intentional.

I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, that what had gone past is gone forever and could not be undone. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me nor take any presents from him, I also stopped talking to him.
From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, he will try to come into our bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in his mother's room.
At night, from his room, I can hear sounds of groaning, I kept quiet... This used to be his trick; when all was well between us, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh.
He has forgotten that was the last time I cared for him and I showed concern because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off consistently but I continuously ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it was full. I knew he was trying to use this to reach out to me, but I was no longer moved by his actions.
He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear him typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, he came rushing into the room, its like he did not change from his office cloth to sleep, but had been waiting for this moment.
He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a cab, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.
Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.

Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes filled with tears of joy as he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. He looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his.... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my heart at that moment.

The doctor said by the time they discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in the terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection not to leave the ward and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.

His cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, I thought ... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now.... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance.
Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion ... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life's journey.
To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mum, she has suffered a lot, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most...." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university? , to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

He has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you was my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you about my illness, because I wanted to see you in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby.... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... For all these presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you pls help me in giving some of them to him every year, the dates are on what to be given and when to give are all written on the packaging... " Going back to the hospital, my husband was still in coma. I brought our son over and placed him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile.

Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...." Cruel misunderstandings, one after the other disrupted the blissful footsteps of our family.

Our original intent of having his mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late."...... ... This is a real and true life story. .

LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!

I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience.....

This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge..

People please let's live a life void of anger and grudges.

She went away for like 10 minutes and came back with a white polythene bag. She handed over the bag to me. I didn't bother to look inside but she took it back opened and shown me the contents. It was some medicines and I am not the type who likes taking medicines but I had to do it just to please her.

She went away for another 2 minutes(roughly) and came back with a sachet water. She asked if I am hungry and I responded; "No!" Because I ate not long before I closed from work. She pick up the polythene, picked the pills as prescribed by the physician and placed them inside my palm. She bite the water and gave it to me and asked me to take my medicine.
I felt like I have got another mother aside my mum. I was just smiling as she started the whole thing by first getting the medicine from the Pharmacy until she handed over the pills and the water. I looked at her face and was still smiling.
She was looking at my face as if I was doing something so wrong. Then she said; "Joe!, Please take the medicine."

Wow!, I have forgotten I was suppose to swallow the pills she gave me.

I swallowed the pills as if I was going to say "I want more!"

She asked to escort me home since she read the side effects of one of the drugs which indicates that I will feel drowsy after taking it.
Instead of going home by car, I decided to walk home since I have got someone to walk me home. We walked and chat along the road until about half way through the journey when I asked her to go back.

I could see that she didn't want to go home. As if she was expecting something from me. She held my hand very tight and I couldn't even move away. It was so fun because I myself didn't want to leave her and she didn't want me to leave as well.

I checked the time and it was 11 Minutes to 9PM. I told her it was getting late so we have to go home. She was holding my hand so tight and couldn't stop looking at my face.

There, I realized she is actually expecting something. Something that I myself have never attempted before but I have to do it anyway because if I don't, I don't think she will ever allow me to go anywhere.

The story continues.